Calypso Rose, also known as the “uncontested diva of Calypso music,” has produced prolific recordings since her debut in Tobago in 1964, and last week, ahead of her performance at Coachella, she dropped a music video in collaboration with the current king of Soca, Machel Montano. It stars a granny meeting a series of attractive young men who flirt with her while she’s out for errands, all while 78-year-old Rose sings about relentless partying and wanting a young boy. All of which is to say, if you thought nothing could make Coachella appealing again, you stand corrected. Watch here.

I’d like to take this moment for an important update: if you’re not in the practice of regularly deleting your instagram photos, you’re outing yourself as an old. Let me explain: kids these days don’t use instagram as a full-life archive where a post is permanent; instead, it’s a dynamic space meant to display who they are RIGHT NOW, with recent photos only. Which makes sense coming from teenagers whose lives may have been embarrassing just a couple of months back. But it’s also a much more intuitive way to use the internet at any age: keeping a timely profile brings instagram in line with the natural pace of time, making the digital world a living extension of our lives, rather than just storage space. Not to mention that showing the world an endless photo album is an extremely old-person thing to do. Adults take note.

Oh, turns out you’re also old if your primary means of communication is text. The youth are now doing spontaneous Facetime– that’s right, unscheduled, quick video calls to check in with friends– and again, they probably have it right. When your phone is a portal to participating multidimensionally in someone’s life from afar, why would you stick to a flat text message? Thanks for the tip, kids.

And according to the newspaper, kids in the next generation are going to start learning cursive again. Unclear at this moment how that’s useful, but maybe they’ll find a way.