There’s something great about a song called ‘Health Machine’ from a guy whose last name is Evian. (Speaking of, heads up everyone, I saw in Times Square yesterday that Fiji water now comes in a sport bottle— FINALLY.) Anyway, this track is a four-minute slow burn in which Mister Evian sings in a floaty tenor about looking for longevity in the rock and roll life by staying healthy. A very sweet sentiment, underscored by the song’s structure: a gradual build starting around 2:30 climaxes a minute later, when guitars and saxophones go nuts, still over the song’s steady, measured beat. Message received. Stay. in. control.

Turns out insecurities don’t have to be gendered to sell things! Some prominent manny manny man men (read: misogynists) including Alex Jones the Infowars guy, Joe Rogan, UFC commentator and side-conspiracy-theorist, and Mice Cernovich, the dude who started Pizzagate, are now peddling face pretties alongside their brain pills and survival kits. And to be honest, the new products fit right in: Infowars’ sunscreen protects skin from nanoparticles, which could very well take over your brain, and Cernovich’s youth serum ensures that, given society’s beauty bias, people will take you seriously when you claim that Hillary Clinton is running a child sex ring out of a pizza shop. But look, if a little self-care is what the far right needs to feel empowered, peddle away.

An activated charcoal food fest happened last week out west. Called ’50 Shades of Charcoal,’ I’m not sure if the target audience was middle-aged women or what, but I’m thinking next time we invite the skin care dudes. If anyone’s more worried about toxins than a SF hippie, it’s a conspiracy theorist FOR SURE.

Today a new podcast is coming out on KCRW from my very good friend Allison Behringer. Called “Bodies,” it investigates one womxn’s body mystery in each episode, deconstructing the patriarchal elements of the medical establishment that dictate and divert women’s narratives about themselves. Episodes are full of human interest, and leave you with big questions to kick around once they’re over. Very much worth a listen (especially if you are a dude).

Download episode 1, ‘Sex Hurts,’ right now!