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April 30, 2018

Listen: Smoke.Netflix.Chill. by Tank and the Bangas

Let’s keep the weekend going a liiiiiittle longer, shall we? Exactly one year after winning the NPR Tiny Desk Contest, Tank and the Bangas finally had time to release a new single. Addictive in the way of much of their stuff, Smoke.Netflix.Chill. feels as hazy as the title implies, but the haze is distinctly pink: anchored by occasional authoritative riffs from Tank, theirĀ second vocalist, Jelly’s voice adds a kidlike color to a song with fairly adult themes of a relationship’s nature changing from something fun and involved to more of a disrespectful booty call situation. Which might be Tank and the Bangas’ greatest strength: breathing playful youth into adult complications.Ā Listen now.

While we’re extending the weekend, pancakes are the new fetish carb

We did cupcakes, toast, cronuts, and then actual donuts… but today, welcome to the age of the pancake. I don’t know if you’ve started seeing them en masse onĀ instagram yet, but I’m here to tell you that they are now a thing. Not that they’d gone away; they’re just taking root in food people’s psyches where they had previously been dormant. Not unrelated toĀ the bean thing, I imagine, pancakes aren’t just a trend (Ć  la cronut,) but a fetish, defined by Meghan McCarron of Eater as, “a $12 version of whatā€™s usually a $4 dish, pricing out everyday consumers with what could be genuinely wonderful ingredients and technique, or just a lot of useless bling (vegan charcoal croissant and gold-leaf soft serveā€¦ congratulations).” As you might have deduced from the above quote, there is some biting shit in the article about this, including a real zinger on white people and avocado toast. Read it in full, and then planĀ your next pancake venture– got to participate, right?

Also, Crossfit finally got around to doing a food brand

If your thighs ballooned just thinking about pancakes (that’s how that works), never fear; you can take refuge in meat. Crossfit just partnered with poorly-named meat company Strauss Food to bring the ‘Crossfit-Approved’ label to their products. First they’re doing a co-branded subscription box (which I encourage you to think of as ‘meat in a box‘), then moving on to grocery supply, and then a co-branded jerky*, so you can now #livethebrand in and out of the gym. If I were Crossfit, I don’t think I’d wait to do this until my time in the light had mostly passed, but better late than never, I guess.

*’jerky’ taking on new meaning in the context of ‘meat in a box’

For your off days

Perhaps you feel bogged down by mentally toggling between starch and meat. Never fear, some Silicon Valley bros have just the thing for you: WeFast is a REAL COMMUNITY of people who support each other through their periods of intermittent fasting, which, according to their site, can ‘potentially increase your lifespan,’Ā and also gives you an ‘enhanced sense of mental agility,’ leaving you ‘better able to focus on [your] work’. Whoops, there’s Monday again.

For those who didn’t click, ‘meat in a box’ obviously = dick in a box. Speaking of timeless.
Margot