Wellness Beer

March 8, 2019

Listen: Clean by Adia Victoria

Adia Victoria is getting some ATTENTION right now, and with good reason. In short, she’s reviving the blues with music that doesn’t necessarily sound bluesy. To her, the blues isn’t an aesthetic or a caricature, but a spirit. So when she sounds like pop or punk or electro, she’s carrying the blues into its next life through personal narratives that are expertly situated in American history. ‘I wonder what it would sound like if Billie Holiday got lost in a Radiohead song?’ is probably the clearest summation of her new record’s sonic principles. But that’s not all. “Clean,” for example, sounds awfully Beethoven, laying a symphonic cello underneath a story of self-destructive self-protection. Listen to the full album and ensconce yourself in Victoria’s thinking; she’s the real thing.

The day had to come: Wellness beers!

The tagline, “The Gatorade of Beers” might make you laugh, but please know that this is utterly serious. Thanks to athletes who love to celebrate the end of a workout or competition with a nice pint, handful of craft breweries have sprung up around the idea of recovery. There’s electrolyte beer, of course, and then one brewed with chia seeds; several are gluten-free. And of course these tasty-but-low-ABV brews have adorable names:  Rec League, Go Play IPAFKT (“Fastest Known Time”) Pale Ale. The leader of the brewery pack, Sufferfest, was just acquired by Sierra Nevada, suggesting that the idea is at the very least not dumb. But can we please avoid calling them “functional beers”? Just seems like beer had a function already.

We are now full circle on soap

In other news, bar soap is back in? If we’re thinking about why, feel free to point to the Kondophiles and zero-waste warriors campaigning against plastic bottles, and then toward a few sexy brands making retro-sexy bars. Similar to the workout beer, the new soap formulations are supposed to be better-formulated than the brands of old (these new guys are moisturizing and specifically made for your face). And, in exciting news, they also necessitate buying something else to put them on when you’re done. Alert the ceramicists; cue the soap dish economy.

Functional CBD, though $

Perhaps you’ve heard of Plant People, one of the better-named CBD brands around. They make high-performance supplements from full-spectrum hemp extract, each tailored to a specific need. There’s like a topical plant balm to soothe sore muscles, for example, and capsules that keep your mind sharp with adaptogenic herbs and nootropics. Also CBD olive oil! They grow all their hemp outside, and because they’re so into plants, they plant a (non-hemp) tree for every product sold. For you, they’ll plant two trees. Just use the code “loremipsum” at checkout. Learn more here and get planty.


I seem to recall Millennials killing both soap and beer. Early Easter miracle?


$ = sponsored