Vibing

November 9, 2021

Listen: Outta Town Freestyle by Megan Thee Stallion

On which the goddess freestyles, which was very much her thing before she started staking out the charts. This one sits on her new “album,” Something For Thee Hotties, which is really just a collection of loose improvisations and unreleased tracks — an unexpected drop that casually keeps the Stallion stoke high. Vibe along here.

Wired: Cousin Greg

You say you’re up to date on Succession, but are you really if you haven’t gotten a physical stimulus every time Greg comes on screen? It appears that Boar on the Floor has been replaced by a new kink in Greg the Egg, a sex toy from Lovense that’s designed to layer the teledildonics on top of your HBO obsession.

If this is something you’re into on first glance, gird your loins for real-live Greg’s response to the release, which in no way involved him: “I think, uh … Is it a compliment?” he said. I would say so, and if there’s any follow-up press coverage, I would like for it to be a Q&A between Nicholas Braun and the person whose job it is to manually trigger the vibrations when he walks on camera. (Find your high tech elsewhere.)

Tired: Pete Davidson

If there’s a sex toy for Nicholas Braun, then naturally there’s a Pete Davidson one, too. This one’s a dildo made by CamSoda, and it’s (oof) covered in tattoos*. It will likewise trigger any time Pete shows up on SNL, which, I dunno, seems a little obvious? Like just cast him in a porno already.

 

*that link is what you think it is, so click when you’re good and ready

Considerably less obvious $

TV is cool, but some of us get our kicks away from the couch. If you’d rather forget everyone and enjoy yourself, consider the Vesper, a discreet vibrator necklace that goes with you wherever. My sex writer friend actually gave me one of these years ago, and could people tell it was a vibrator? You tell me. Get it custom engraved if you want to be really stealthy. Check it out here.

Shoutout to the math teacher in Taiwan uploading his fully clothed lessons to Pornhub.

Margot

$ = sponsored