Throuples Unite

April 7, 2019

Listen: Sex Talk by Megan Thee Stallion

Let’s jump straight into Monday with some raunchy sex rap, shall we? Megan Thee Stallion is one of the most exciting rappers out of Houston right now, and she is unapologetic about her sick flow (follow her on the socials for proof). Under the same label as Migos and Young Thug, she’s about to drop an album that she’s teasing with this hot track all about her sexual fantasies. The lyrics are frankly joyous, and her swagger addictive: “Got more milkshakes than Kelis / Ain’t met a n***a who can handle me / I think I should be in museums / ‘Cause this body a masterpiece.” Listen now– she’s about to be everywhere.

Rise of the Throuple

Suddenly the media is all over the world “throuple.” (See: “A Throuple on How Marriage Changed Their Relationship;” “Frankie Grande is in a Throuple.”) If this is your first encounter, know that it is exactly what you think it is: a three-person romantic relationship. But does anyone feel like the word is a little straightforward? It’s got kind of a “staycation” vibe. Cronut. Cockapoo. All I’m saying is, if we’re trying to make alternative relationship structures mainstream, we nailed it on the name.

If Seeking Throuple

Formerly called “Thrinder” (pre-copyright lawsuit), Feeld is an app that connects people in all configurations. Initially a threesome platform, it has evolved to accommodate people whose styles aren’t reflected in standard dating apps, meaning singles and couples can use it to find whatever kind of companionship they’re looking for. The app has also scaled with an eye toward inclusion: they offer a total of 20 orientations for users to choose from in their user profiles, *and* they allow people to anonymously invite their crushes to join. The best part, though, is that if the company does really well, it will be its own unicorn.

Truly Subversive: Gluten-Free Singles

Finally, a site that matches by dietary restriction. Gluten-Free Singles is where you can go to find eligible suitors who share your aversion to wheat proteins, regardless of whether you’re legitimately intolerant or merely intolerable. Gold star to this company for inclusion, but one question remains: does “GF” refer to gluten-free or girlfriend in this scenario?

…So you’re saying I can have TWO GF cupcakes?