NEW JAI PAUL!!!!! What a gift. The enigmatic musician who might well have fully disappeared has not only resurfaced with two singles, but he has also shared the 2013 project that he pulled when parts of it were leaked. On the singles: “Do You Love Her Now” sounds like the opening credits to the Jai Paul comeback movie, while “He” is a low-key, even-more-’80s bop that might underlay a montage in this hypothetical film. But if you want to truly immerse yourself in his world, visit Jai’s trippy new website, where you can listen to the mystery project and also, with a great deal of effort, buy merch. Seems like he is here to stay.

Behold: salad frosting. Not as evil as it sounds,  it’s actually just ranch dressing, dressed up to appeal to kids. Strikes me as a stupendous way to develop a complicated relationship with food, or alternately, a sure bet to coerce a first bite and eliminate any possibility of a second. Parents, how’s this going for you?

And another headline that sounds better than it is: “The Health Benefits of Meth.” Pacific Standard wants you to know that a meth relative lurks inside the Vicks VapoInhaler as well as common alzheimer’s and Parkinson’s drugs, and straightup meth is sometimes used to treat ADHD, obesity, and narcolepsy– and that’s a good thing. “The chemical itself isn’t bad,’” they quote a medical meth user, “It’s just misuse of the chemical that’s bad.”  We get it, we get it, you want us to consider the drug as a medicine, not just assume stigma. But you can’t always just take something people don’t like and transform it into something palatable– salad isn’t always dessert, you know?

Meet the Soy Curl, a product that’s utterly unconcerned with branding, but is, by all reports, quite good. Made of whole dehydrated soybeans, the curls are supposed to be reconstituted with something tasty, and then you can use them as a handy-dandy meat substitute. Skeptical? Me too. But curious? Definitely. Try them on Amazon for about a dollar per ounce, and maybe regret it, or, worse, become addicted. Either way, tell them I sent you. (Not that anyone’s listening.)