It’s time we talked about DaBaby. At a time when every other hip hop giant is singing, he’s hitting the scene with raps, which really deserve italics for their infinite energy and rapid clip—and for the fact that they start the moment a track does, hitting you with a wall of words instead of waiting for the beat to drop. But did you know that the breakout rap star of 2019 only started rapping about five years ago? And mainly as a stunt to carry out #viralmoments like wearing an adult diaper onstage. On “INTRO,” the first track on his third album this year, you’ll hear him explore emotions for the first time as he describes learning in the span of a few minutes that his dad had died and his album had hit #1 on the Apple Music albums chart. That’s a grown-up moment if there ever was one, and all eyes are on this guy as he matures.
It’s one thing to dress your kid up in tiny Jordans to show you’re a cool parent. It is quite another to force them to party. And yet, raves specifically for babies are booming right now. Parents who fancy themselves stylish are bringing their under-fours to daytime clubs where they bathe in neon lights and bump to snakehips, which is fine, I guess, as long as you admit that you’re doing this for you, not for your kid. But also, consider getting a babysitter and taking yourself out sometime.
Adding to the generational confusion, here’s a fun fact: sales of adult diapers are set to outpace those for babies. In fact, they already have in Japan, where the population is aging and nobody’s having sex, and the rest of the world is catching up. Good thing there’s a sexy new incontinence brand on the block. A company called Tena just launched Silhouette Noir, a line of absorbent lingerie that mimics Victoria’s Secret to keep your little secret. (It’s pee!) Unfortunately, the noir is only available in the UK right now, but naughty ladies stateside can always try Intimates overnight underwear, which makes you wonder, why can’t baby diapers be so full of personality?
If you strolled your baby around with one of these, do you think you’d get looks? Has anybody tried?
