Pyramid Scheme Pose

April 10, 2019

Listen: In Search of Balance by Reginald Omas Mamode IV

This song is everything. From the soul singer Reginald Omas Mamode IV, “In Search of Balance” brings together a sort of afro-barbershop group underneath Reginald’s sweet reassurances about seeking balance and celebrating your talents in life. They’re all a cappella, accompanied by some claps and a single tambourine. So analog. So matte.  So positive. So good.

Yoga teacher training, the business

This weekend is the New York Times ran a pretty fabulous exposé on the pyramid scheme that is Core Power Yoga. Imagine: you finish a yoga class and the teacher singles you out, impressed. “Have you ever considered teaching?” they ask, through their centered halo. Maybe, in this moment, you feel special. And maybe, if you’re at Core Power, your teacher has a financial incentive to sign you up to train. Core Power Yoga has done a really impressive job of squeezing pennies out of every corner of the yoga business, from manipulating students to join the dead-end training program (that whole “you’re special” conversation? It has scripts) to fudging their way to a fully unpaid janitorial staff. It’s shady stuff. But all in the name of peace and balance, obviously.

Bottled water also impure

Also in the news: Poland Spring water appears NOT TO BE FROM A SPRING AFTER ALL. While the company admits that the Poland Spring itself is no longer in service, they claim that their supply comes from eight other springs. A big lawsuit says that, actually, there is no spring at all, and the brand’s product is just filtered groundwater. Such a blow, right? All this time we thought marketers had our best interests at heart.

Round out your pyramid

If you’re into the greyer areas of the wellness sphere, consider adding some essential oils to your yoga practice. Better yet, become a doTerra sales rep and change your life for the better! Make money like never before, all while enriching the lives of others. Just make sure to make your quota. DO IT NOW.*


*doTerra is also a pyramid scheme

Om(y god can we trust no one).