Off-Brand Soylent Totally Going To Do It Better

Can’t get enough of these guys and just found out they’re Brooklynites (!) by way of San Juan. La Nueva Ciudad is the. dreamiest., and has been on loop over here for about a week; it slows down that classic reggaeton beat, creating an ethereal space between the percussion and the floaty vocals above it. And even though it’s slow, that space has a really tangible forward drive, so it’s chill but directed– kind of the balance we all strive for, right? Yours to employ on hump day.

“Huel is nutrition first and taste second,” according to their founder, who couldn’t come up with a better naming scheme than eliding ‘human’ and ‘fuel’. The company’s British, which I guess is a differentiator, but other than that it has exactly the same product as Soylent, with a few added flavors. But here’s one potential bright light for them: a bottled version to take on-the-go, as requested by their ‘community,’ who are even too lazy to mix powder with water. Fuck. You.

Eight thumbs up to the v clickbaity headline, ‘Are You Secretly Tired of Sharing at Restaurants?,’ in which the author acknowledges everything that’s cool and global about sharing hip small plates but also feels stressed out as a slow eater in a free-for-all. (It’s hard to talk and eat at the same time when you have to focus on making sure you get some of what you want!) Accordingly, the comments section freaked out to the degree that the Times published a new piece just on responses, in which you meet the hypochondriacs, luddites, and narcissists of the world, in addition to a person or two with a valid contribution, such as this one: “The headline for this article, but more so the comment section, should be “Old Man Yells at Cloud.”

Just when you thought we were direct-to-consumered out, there’s a new cookware brand on the scene. Classic eliminate-the-middleman scenario, they’ve got their story down: one of the founders grew up in a family that sells restaurant cookware wholesale, and when he hit about 30 all his friends would hit him up for All-Clad discounts around their friends’ weddings. So then he partnered with a bud to found Made In (if you want a resolution to that opener, it’s ‘America’– they source materials from all over the States), using nice, stateside manufacturing facilities to bring you skillets starting at $59 and stock pots for $99. ‘Don’t wait till marriage,’ is the message they want you to come away with; nice pans are for everyone.