March 1, 2019

Listen: Cola by Arlo Parks

Arlo Parks is an exceedingly smooth character for the tender age of 18. On her track, “Cola,” you’re in it for the chorus, where Arlo, sly and sultry, joins another female voice in honeyed parallel octaves so tight you think you might slip on them– that is, until they branch off and entwine in unexpected harmonies. That toggle between cloy and intrigue is, in turn, a lovely parallel to the song’s narrative about wanting to quit a bitter, cheating ex, but missing the sweet moments in spite of yourself. Don’t slip, Arlo.

Can we drink it? (No we can’t.)

We all heard the news of the “drinkable” chips? Spoiler: you cannot drink them. Some Japanese company was concerned enough about our one-handed chip eating ability that they created a line of pre-crushed chips that you can simply pour into your mouth straight from the bag (and, reminder, you do have to chew). Questionable on the ideation generally, but I also feel like it’s best practice to ditch your idea as soon as you find out that MailChimp has already executed it as a stunt.

But we CAN wipe

But that one company and MailChimp aren’t the only ones considering the chip-dust problem. Doritos has put its corporate mind on the matter and come up with their own solution: a chip bag that is also a towel. Plastic on the inside and terrycloth on the outside, you can use the bag to wipe as you go (so now you can keep your pants clean– or just not wear any at all). In a departure from all those Nike athletic sponsorships, the bag is only being marketed to the Israeli gamer community. So if you were getting hyped, sorry, but you’ll have to get your own towel– or at least keep your pants on for the time being.

But if you really can’t wait

For the DIYers among us, I’ve gone ahead and found a recipe for homemade Doritos and a very nice tea towel. Who needs Frito-Lay.

Once you pop, the fun don’t stop.