Feeling Nordic today, buds? Spend 4 minutes with this video from the Icelandic duo Between Mountains. It opens with a snowy scene featuring the extraordinarily blonde bandmember, Katla Vigdís Vernharðsdóttir, in a sort of tribal standoff with an older man. They stand face-to-face in the middle of a circle of people holding torches, dance-signing in unison as if they’re having a nonverbal negotiation on behalf of their groups. Fast forward and you learn it’s not a two-party conversation; rather, everyone in this place has a body double miming everything they do. I won’t spoil the rest; just enjoy its eerie, icy beauty, totally suitable for this-here beginning-of-winter.

Have we all seen the Peloton ad? This Peloton ad— the one in which some husband gives his already-fit wife a Peloton for Christmas and she thanks him hysterically, crazed at the idea of becoming a slave to a stationary bicycle. She grits her teeth through dread for a year, waking up early in a montage of apprehensive workouts, and through dead eyes the following Christmas, she shows her husband a video of all her toiling, telling him she didn’t know how much this would change her. There’s basically no way not to read this ad as it’s protagonist’s prison, an idea that the internet has backed up quite thoroughly (see this excellent parody). But Peloton begs to differ. After their stock fell 9% this week, the company stated that they’re “disappointed” by how we’ve all “misinterpreted” the ad. Which can only mean one thing: Peloton will be forcing their way back into comedy clubs in no time.

Of course, Peloton isn’t the only way to care for yourself. To achieve that general feeling of “well,” look no further than tanning your butthole. Also called “perineum sunning” in goop-ese coined by the micro-micro influencer “Metaphysical Meagan” (is this the name game), it’s supposedly an ancient Taoist practice that ensures “health & longevity of the physical body,” “creative output,” and “a healthy libido & balanced sexual energy.” But you knew that already. On behalf of the city folk who don’t live in Joshua Tree, when do we get a butt-sunning studio in SoHo?

I know how much you’re enjoying the sensation of the eye-roll, but let’s pause to applaud someone actually doing a good job in the way of health and wellness. CVS is piloting pharmacies that focus on holistic healthcare for preventative treatment of chronic illness, which is a huge hole in the American healthcare scheme. In their “HealthHubs,” they offer yoga classes, nutritionist sessions, health exams by nurse practitioners, and a pharmacist concierge service that prescribes and delivers medication monthly. CVS worked with the Harvard School of Public Health to design the centers in a way that engages the community around healthy habits and regular care—particularly when they don’t have primary care doctors. Way to take responsibility.