I am SO pleased to report that Lil Nas X’s new song sounds nothing like Old Town Road. Chances were high that he’d be a one-hit wonder, but either he is so skillful or his label is so dependent on his revenue that the all-important second single totally slaps. “Montero” (Lil Nas’ given name) channels that dark, rusty voice into a new beat that’s zero percent country (flamenco instead) and just as addictive. Which is to say nothing of the video: It’s a gay garden of Eden where Nas totally gets with the serpent. It’s a BDSM Versailles. It’s a coming out anthem and that is the followup we needed from this kid star. And if the pole dance through the Coliseum isn’t enough for you, the song comes with an inscription to the artist’s former self:
“Dear 14-year-old Montero, I wrote a song with our name in it. It’s about a guy I met last summer. I know we promised to never come out publicly, I know we promised to never be “that” type of gay person, I know we promised to die with the secret, but this will open doors for many other queer people to simply exist. You see this is very scary for me, people will be angry, they will say I’m pushing an agenda. But the truth is, I am. The agenda to make people stay the fuck out of other people’s lives and stop dictating who they should be. Sending you love from the future.” ❤️ ❤️ ❤️
Have you ever looked at the societal wreckage that is Instagram and thought, “we need this… for kids”? Well, Facebook is having that thought so you don’t have to. The news of a forthcoming kidstagram stems from a leaked document so the think piece haven’t yet poured in, but it seems from a strategic standpoint like Instagram is looking at Tik Tok and other kid-friendly platforms (Instagram currently forbids use for anyone under 13) and worrying that they’ll satisfy all the youth’s social needs, so they’re making a bid to keep up. I believe the marketing term for this is, “get ’em early.”
You know what kids could use more than an online trash pile that erodes their self-confidence from the womb? Ok fine, almost anything, but we’ll go with “representation.” As of last week, PBS has two new Black muppets, 5-year-old Wesley and his dad, Elijah. “Aren’t muppets all like green and purple?” you’re thinking. Yes, they are, and that’s not very helpful for teaching kids about race. The idea behind programs like Sesame Street is to 1. teach kids stuff and 2. communicate head-on about things adults are thinking about but don’t necessarily know how to bring up with their toddlers. So Wesley and Elijah, in addition to being fleshed-out people with feelings and interests, will help drive new programming on “The ABCs of Racial Literacy,” as well as joining the cast of Sesame Street. Can’t wait to meet them.
Let’s hear it for River, Wilder, Maisie, Jane, Luna, Juniper, Meadow, Willow, Sage, and all the other babies born in the pandemic who will grow up processing their Sesame Street learnings on the gram. A year into Covid, it’s been enough time to gather stats on how global wreckage impacts baby names, and evidently, the rub is “cottagecore.” That’s great for all of you, but if I ever have a cottagecore child it will be named Taylor Swift.
