It’s not delivery, it’s dystopia

I figure the ‘infrastructure’ part of the SimCity soundtrack is a good sonic backdrop for this issue. Please turn on now (and know how much better the OG track is than the one from SimCity3000— the future is not always better).

Domino’s has always had a boss marketing department, but now they’re doing basic infrastructure? In a program called Paving for Pizza, they’ve started filling potholes, purportedly to save good pizza from disastrous delivery jostles. Cute in theory, but pretty real in practice, they’ve so far been to smaller cities 1. whose municipal programs aren’t covering basic repairs and 2. who presumably rely on chains like Domino’s for their pizza needs. Towns paved include Burbank, California; Milford, Delaware; Bartonville, Texas; and Athens, Georgia, and they’re coming for more. Nominate your second-rate city here.

That’s cute and all, but this contrarian piece from Citylab wants us to know how suspiciouswe should be. Here’s what we know:

1. Turns out Domino’s is actually just giving grants, so the cities are doing the work themselves, and they have to paint on a Domino’s thing with a stencil every time.
2. This program sounds a whole lot like the Trump agenda. Remember the “Infrastructure Incentives Program”? Where public bodies are supposed to be “attracting significant new, non-Federal revenue streams dedicated to infrastructure investments”? Yeah so GE, let’s see what we can do about these street lamps.

The anti-delivery.