Pitch it good

May 1, 2020

Listen: Verde by J. Balvin ft. Sky

J Balvin’s new Colores album is a literal rainbow of reggaeton bangers, and the hue of each song comes through with blazing commitment. On Verde, J, who is coordinated down to the hair color in kelly green, gets cursed by a leprechaun and shrunk down to tiny size so we can follow him ducking and dodging through the lawn in a Honey-I-Shrunk-The-Kids-style series of hijinks. Did I mention the leprechaun can dance? Watch here.

 

The Corona commercial

Have we all seen the Corona commercial? I’m not referring to any one in particular— there’s just a cumulative genre TV spot now where nothing really happens but then after 30 seconds we’ve all spent time together. Like an ASPCA commercial about humans, you’ll see a montage of images: a shadow of a first responder, a still of people looking longingly at each other through a window, inevitably set to somber music. Then, out of the dust arises the logo of whatever brand wants to remind you that it is still here. Given that many of those brands— Uber, for instance— have no real offering at present, it seems curious that they’re spending so much to advertise nothing. But years from now, when this is all over, you’ll remember who kept you company during your isolation period via empathetic slideshow, won’t you?

Publicize me, cap’n

Announcement: Publicists are still here and on payroll and they have products to tell you about. As my inbox can attest, brands are still raising awareness around credit card promotions and going-out clothes, and they’re struggling to strike the right tone (“At this time of uncertainty, it feels good to be able to rely on things we are familiar with, such as floral for spring” 🤦‍♀️).  You’ve got to feel for them— what do you do when you still have a job but no one wants what you’re slinging? Conveniently, one agency has launched a hotline to help publicists pitch products without landing their heads up their floral-covered butts. The next best thing to silence.

Adding one more thing to your plate

Speaking of which, Sweetgreen is selling food on plates now, since no one is exactly grabbing and going. I mean, bowls are so office, right? Instead, please enjoy the ingredients that previously comprised your 1 p.m. Harvest Bowl, now set on a flat eating surface much more appropriate for this time of need.