Turn on Goldlink’s new album now and leave it on throughout the weekend– it’s that good, that varied, that much of a party. Featuring producers from Kenya, Ghana, London, and LA, Diaspora is a sweeping tribute to black cultures around the globe. There’s “U Say,” an upbeat, percussive jazz track where the rap feels almost like spoken word. The following track, “Yard” featuring WSTRN, is a West African bop with a super catchy hook. “Zulu Screams,” with Maleek Berry and Bibi Bourelly, is a futuristic Nigerian dance track. And Goldlink’s flow works easily into each distinct beat. Please enjoy every minute.
We learned the hard way that our emotional support peacocks are not allowed on planes. But how’s it going on the ground? In response to a surging number of “service animals” (so classified to access spaces where they’d normally be banned–like, say, apartments), states are cracking down on people who try to pass their pets off as medically necessary. As of this year, it’s a misdemeanor in Utah to lie about your pet’s emotional support status; Oklahoma allows stores to ban all pets; and Virginia is going after websites that falsify service animal verification letters. The problem with enforcing some of these rules is that most people are unclear on what constitutes an emotional support figure, and what’s just a pet– aren’t all pets emotionally beneficial? Especially alligators.
Lululemon, not to be outdone, is adding to their workout clothing line with “self-care” products like dry shampoo, deodorant and moisturizer. It’s up to you whether a stopgap cleaning counts as self-care, but Lulu has elevated the experience of recovering from sweat by elevating their price tags: their moisturizer costs $48 per 1.6 oz bottle, and also comes in “travel size,” in case an ounce and a half is too much to add to your load. Should we tell them anything under 3 ounces is cool with the TSA?
Does something about a big party say “self-care” to you? If so, behold the NIPYATA!, a piñata full of tiny liquor bottles. Yes, I’m serious, and yes, you should get one immediately. If you’re feeling festive, you could get the Pride-Yata or get straight to the point with the truly excellent Peen-Yata. The tamer of heart might go with the Stay Classy Burrito (as in small donkey), filled with Fireball, Smirnoff, and all the other essentials, including a whacking stick. All the liquor bottles are made of soft plastic– no glass– and mixed in with candy to chase your shots, because what kind of party do you think this is. You can order online, of course, but if you need one today, here’s a list of stores that stock them (some deliver!). Cheers, friends, happy weekend.
