As we’ve discussed before, venue closures can’t keep New York down. We’ve got outside dance parties on the reg and there’s a jazz band on every corner. I’m doing a little thing about this and I’m hoping NY folks will help me crowdsource: what are your favorite outside bands and where to they play? Email me with your recs.

While you ponder, my current favorite is the Wayne Tucker band, a tight ensemble who have been playing pretty regularly at Grand Army Plaza. I hear they’ll be out this Saturday, if you’re around— and if you’re elsewhere, enjoy their latest EP on YouTube and some cute videos on facebook.

If you don’t have any plans this weekend,* here’s an idea: rent out an AMC. Yes, that’s an AMC cinema, and yes, that’s within your means now that their business is more or less frozen. The movie theater death knell has been ringing since the rise of Netflix, and MoviePass brought the grim reaper right next door. Now reckoning with the Covid-time truth that when you can’t sell movie tickets, a movie theater is just a big, seat-filled box, AMC is offering full theaters to the public for $99 a pop.** Per social distancing guidelines, you can only have up to 20 people inside, and they’re calling the rentals “private screenings,” but honestly you could do whatever you want in there: play hide and seek, hold a meeting, take a very dark nap. Just do it soon***— you never know when they’ll fully kick the bucket.

*JK, you have to book ten days out, but what a plan for future you

**New York friends, I checked, and the closest rentable AMCs are in New Jersey, which is not not doable

***Or, you know, continue to not socialize indoors

Now that we’re naming things for what they are, let’s all agree that school is childcare. You don’t need me to tell you how much of a problem school closures have posed to parents, and in light of those problems, some public school buildings have re-opened not as schools, but as childcare centers that charge parents to look after their children while they do their school work. Per Jacobin, “Durham, North Carolina announced in August that it would be charging $70 to $140 per week… for its “learning centers,” coincidentally located in school buildings and providing “supervision” to kids during the day. (Otherwise known as “schools” providing “school.”) Fairfax County, Virginia provides “a supportive setting to promote children’s academic, social, emotional and physical development” (e.g., “school”), for fees on a sliding scale, with monthly fees ranging from $80 to $1,472.” No better way to win public trust than charging a premium on what people’s taxes already paid for. Woof.

Yeah, so again: Vote.

If you don’t need a theater to see a movie, you certainly don’t need a salon to do yourself up. Thrive Causemetics’ Liquid Lash Extensions™ deliver the look of extensions without the trip outside. Made with clean ingredients that last all day, this mascara promises to help eyelashes thrive, on Zoom and beyond. Try it here.