Jungle is a soul music collective based in London, but during lockdown, a collective becomes more of a scattered group of individuals. As a result, one of Jungle’s two founding members, J Lloyd, produced his own solo album in April. “Kosmos” is 25 tracks of soul-inflected dance music, set to video footage of people dancing to something entirely different. Watching people dance to electronic music is always a painful experience, and watching it without the accompanying rhythm is frankly hilarious. J Lloyd uses that rhythmic mismatch to displace our sense of time and reason, superimposing present-day reality on a background that no longer makes sense. Remind you of anything? 

Months into a pandemic and an uprising for racial justice, I know what must be on your mind: Botox. In a time of deep structural change, how could you not be focused on surface-level vanity, right? Lucky for us, a new Botox studio called Peachy has opened in New York, ready after just ages of waiting to do the important work of de-stigmatizing facial fillers. Clearly they are onto something: how can you even worry about things like equity when your worry lines are practically imperceptible?

Speaking of solutions hiding in plain sight, perhaps you’ve heard that the new Starbucks creamer “changes everything.” Swing by for a cup after your injections and watch the earth heal around you.

You didn’t think brands were just in it for their own profit, did you? Burger King, long perceived as a soulless corporate giant, is also deep in the weeds of justice. The King of Beef would like you to know that they are deeply concerned about climate change, a phenomenon we know to be worsened by levels of methane in cow farts. Some would suggest reducing cow consumption as a solution to the methane problem. But for Burger King, cows are heroes and the problem is their farts. So rather than to, say, change their menu, Burger King is working on fart-reduction technology, crafting an alternate diet FOR THE COWS that could reduce their gas by up to a third. On the human menu, the end product is billed as a “Reduced Methane Emissions Beef Whopper,” which, as an order, feels kind of like buying a new reusable shopping bag every time you go to the store. But look, have it your way. That seems to be working.

Let’s reiterate that when a thing is bad for you, a sensible response is to do less of that thing. That’s why Monument is here to help people change their relationship to drinking. Their online platform provides free resources, support groups, and 24/7 access to a community forum, as well as affordable personalized plans that connect you with licensed physicians and behavioral therapists who specialize in changing drinking habits. It’s more affordable than other treatment options, and you can start any time you like, since it’s all online. If you think drinking less can give you more, check out Monument here.