This time it’s American cheese, which obviously hasn’t really gone anywhere, but it’s… no longer as popular as it was in the 50s? In response to the youth’s “demand [for] nourishment from ingredients that are both recognizable and pronounceable,” Wendy’s is shifting from American to Asiago, Panera swapped their grilled cheese to some four-cheese blend, and Cracker Barrel– yes, Cracker Barrel– ditched their grilled cheese altogether. I encourage you to read the very well-reported Bloomberg article on this, which also contains many great cheese puns in addition to the following tidbit: evidently cheddar is used to make American cheese, so we could have been eating non-processed cheese this whole time. Mindblowing.

Sad days for the dairy industry at large, actually. Milk prices are way low after nut milk turned out to be delicious and greek yogurt fell short of its sales projections, and it’s a hugely raw deal for the producers. Back when Chobani and friends started going gangbusters, dairy farmers were told to produce-produce-produce, but now that the yogurt market hasn’t continued its exponential rise, farms can’t sell much of what they make. So even while the government tries to buy up the surplus to make cheese for low-income Americans, lots of farmers still have excess, which they’re forced to dump. See? Sad.

This feels like a good time to bring up the previously hilarious story that’s been tainted by the seriousness of the piece above: Almond Breeze had to do a big recall over the summer because their almond milk was tainted by… wait for it… real milk. 🤦‍♀️

But just in case, a word on CommonBond, a company that can refinance your loans at lower rates. On average they save each person $24k, and they also have lending programs for grad school. Learn more here.