The beat on this track is bursting, which should be enough to get your week going. On “PREMIUM GOODS,” Rodney Chrome raps about his boyfriend-stealing powers, leaving us with the distinct sense that Chrome is, himself, the title offering. His swagger naturally extends to his flow, which he promotes in a single, cutting metaphor: “My bars solid, yours liquified.” Listen here.

As you may have heard, New York’s Covid-era liquor laws are a moving target. The latest phase brought a new set of bar rules, which were designed to keep people from being dumb about distancing, but seem to fundamentally misunderstand how bars and humans operate. You can buy a drink, for example, but any time you do so, whether you’re at a dive bar or a restaurant, you have to order food alongside. Any establishment found to have violated this or other distancing rules three times is supposed to lose its liquor license. So bars are stepping up with dollar menu items like “Cuomo chips”* (that is, just a bowl of chips), a handful of grapes, and a single spoonful of rice pilaf. In Syracuse, you can get a half-cup of whipped cream. And in the Hudson Valley, Handshakes Bar & Grill has gone ahead and named its full tiny-item menu after the governor, whose name is now also an acronym for “Cuomo’s Unnecessary Obligated Menu Items.” Tell me: after five drinks and five grapes, are you still drunk?

*Indeed, as it turns out, chips aren’t enough.

Meanwhile, South Africa has banned the sale of alcohol entirely— not to enforce social distancing, necessarily, but to free up hospital beds for Covid patients. South Africa is the hardest-hit country on the continent so far, and according to the Economist,”admissions to trauma wards fell by 60-70%” during their initial lockdown and booze ban in April and May. (Reportedly, 40% of the country’s trauma ward cases are alcohol-related.) Not everyone is pleased, obviously, particularly given jobs that come as collateral of an alcohol ban. The ban also seems like a strong flex when the country still hasn’t closed schools. But it’s a great time for pineapple vendors, who are selling their fruits at a markup to home brewers. When life gives you lemons, make pineapple beer.

To be fair, bars do present a social distancing problem in that drunk people are friendly. So, if not chips, what is the solution? Put up an electric fence, of course. That’s the conclusion at The Star Inn in Cornwall, England, which admits to having shocked a number of unruly guests thus far. No one’s mad about it, mainly because it’s not infantilizing. Get their management on the Coronavirus task force, stat.