CAN IT

March 25, 2019

Listen: Patience by Tame Impala

It’s hard to believe it’s been four years since the stellar Currents dropped in 2015, but here we are, and at long last, Tame Impala has a new song. “Patience” sounds just sounds like them but airier, a little more optimistic. A little more boring, too, as it abandons a sense of arc for more of a beachy dance vibe– rather than narrating epic musicality, Kevin Parker’s signature voice becomes another instrument blending into the repetitive, synthy orchestration. But no one’s mad yet. Mostly just curious about another full album.

Fishy logic

I’ll admit Millennials have killed a lot of things but sardines are where I draw the line. In an article entitled, “Millennials Tried To Kill It, But Tinned Fish Is Making a Comeback,” Bloomberg tries to tell us that the media’s favorite generation has nixed a thing that has never been particularly big in their lifetimes. But regardless of when the fish tin initially reigned, the point is, it’s back. Alongside canned tuna, sales of anchovies and sardines are picking up, mainly because of their pretty, vintage-looking tins. Which is maybe the most Millennial thing ever. Can we get a fact checker in the house?

 

Canned oat milk lattes, however

It hasn’t taken CPG companies long to scoop up oat milk fervor into a can, and already you have your choice of brands: theere’s the kind of garish hippie-dippie can from RISE, classic minimalist-matte from Pop & Bottle (complete with adaptogens and nootropics and whatever), and a more contemporary, arty design from Minor Figures. (But are they good.)

 

Don’t forget maple syrup

Maple syrup is also now coming in a can, because if your brand isn’t selling, put it in a new package, right? “Parents are wanting convenience,” says the rep from Coombs Family Farms, “but they also want unrefined sugars and none of the fake stuff.” So their solution is a maple syrup spray can with “No mess” and “No more sticky, stuck-on caps.” And hey, congrats on the rebrand. “Maple Stream,” as they’re calling it, sounds more like a term for extreme dehydration, but maybe that’s what happens when you chug the product straight– which, in all fairness, is almost certainly what the can is really for.

I… cannot.

Margot