For everyone in the Covid-swiping doldrums, this song is for you. On “Tuesday,” Video Dave chronicles a weeks-long relationship that takes place entirely over text. He starts out excited— romantic activity!— and lets his hopes hover high as he grooms himself for dates where he’ll never be seen. His energy flattens as the rapport refuses to progress beyond thumbs, and the lines that were hopeful at the outset wind up jaded by the end. You hate to see it. (And yet.)

The government hasn’t always left the populace in charge of making public health decisions, but here we are. Covid cases rising in your city? Go to a bar, why not! Or, as this Atlantic headline so aptly puts it, “just because you can doesn’t mean you should.” After California pushed into a phase that allowed indoor dining (they’ve since backtracked), Tejal Rao, the New York Times’ CA restaurant critic, wrote that regardless of what the rules say, she won’t be in restaurant dining rooms any time soon. But not everyone is as smart as Tejal, and some of us need our options restricted. That’s why Costco is pulling sheet cakes from their shelves. Highly specific flex, but barring some strange fixation, there’s basically no instance in which a group of under ten people needs a cake made for 50. So if you were planning a backyard bash for the 4th, Costco subtly dissents.

However inadvisable, offices are opening up, too, and they’re luring workers with the lamest of carrots: corporate ‘rona swag. Unnecessary and undesirable freebies include branded sanitizer, corporate-logo face masks, and “clip-on Zoom vanity light rings.” To be clear, no one wants another free knick-knack, nor do they want their faces used as ad space for the giant corporations who don’t value them enough to keep them at home. Nobody asked for this, but I can think of a thing everyone is asking for, by way of a national uprising. Interesting how much easier it is to buy hand sanitizer than it is to hire and pay your employees fairly.

Stressed and sitting at home, many of us have been drinking too much. Official CDC numbers tell us that already there are nearly 40 million over-drinkers in the US, and the pandemic hasn’t helped. So, I’d like to tell you about Monument, an online platform for those looking to change their relationship with alcohol. With several support tiers, they aim to help people at all stages in the journey: On the low-touch end, they offer free informational resources, free anonymous support groups, and 24/7 access to a community forum; for people seeking more support, they craft personalized plans, and can connect users to licensed physicians and behavioral therapists who specialize in changing drinking habits. Since Monument functions completely online, it’s accessible all over (with personalized plans available in select states and expanding quickly), and it’s also more affordable than other options. If this sounds right for you or someone you know, learn more here.