Stephen Malkmus has launched a Stephen Malkmus instagram filter so you can augment your face into Stephen Malkmus’ face. It is fairly disquieting, and also the perfect accompaniment to his new song, “Shadowbanned.” The filter shows up throughout the video, creepliy replacing other famous people’s* faces as they engage in video chat and other internet activities. Meanwhile, the lyrics poke fun at everything we are on the internet: “Sky high on reddit, kharma fly / Over Amazon wheatfields and rivers of Red Bull / Drip gush drip data-driven skip / To the part where the left bros parody TED Talks.” Although the single dropped in February and was presumably conceived well before then, its lesson becomes more poignant by the day: we are all Stephen Malkmus.

*Sharon Von Etten, Jason Schwartzman, and Kurt Vile, to name a few

If you think you’re bummed to be at home, consider the teenagers. Sitting ever closer to their parents at an age where they would normally be spreading their wings, their only way out is through the video chat window— and, as it turns out, parents are blocking the light. Boomers are slowly being introduced to Houseparty, the app where you video chat with your friends, Brady-Bunch-style, and maybe play a shitty game or two— and, no surprise, they are about it. Rolling without digital native skills such as muting oneself or flipping the camera, parents are crashing their kids’ parties, forgetting to introduce themselves but unafraid to hijack the conversation. Some kids may recognize that this is charming. For everyone else, there’s still Tik Tok.

On the note of digital literacy, my favorite piece of media right now (unsurprisingly a newsletter) is the Boomer Email, a biweekly blast of utterly random threads authored by people* born well before the inbox. Think: multiple typefaces, endless lines of indecipherable memes, quotes pasted in signature lines, unhinged commentary on Trump & co., “gotcha” riddles with creepy sexual undertones. Subscribe and enjoy receiving messages from ok@boomer.email.

*Offended Boomers in the room, we understand your generation is not a monolith, and that many of you are in fact tech savvy. Here, we are referring to “Boomer” as a lifestyle, an aesthetic, to which you may or may not subscribe.

Perhaps after reading these updates you feel the urge to prove you are a Snake Person*— or a with-it Gen X-and-above. In either case, these ceramics should do the trick. Order some for your bunker and the avocado toast will practically make itself.**

*Millennial

**out of the sourdough to which you have dedicated your entire week