☝Why J-Date when you could DNA-Date

March 14, 2018

Listen: How We Met, The Long Version by Jens Lekman

Jens Lekman is several things, most prominently: Swedish, romantic, and funky. With EP titles like ‘I Know What Love Isn’t’, ‘When I Said I Wanted to Be Your Dog’, ‘An Argument With Myself’, and ‘Oh You’re So Silent Jens’, you know you’re in for some feelings when you open your ears to Jens; happily, you also get some sweet sounds alongside. In How We Met, he re-tells the story of meeting (duh) to the person he’s with– which is literal and sappy in a way that might seem cool if perfect Swede-English is your second language; if not, it’s a touch too sincere to swallow. Thank goodness he’s got that slappy rhythm guitar to distract from how much he cares.

Why J-Date when you could DNA-Date

For those of us missing out on a good gimmick because we are not at SXSW, I’ve got one for you: DNA dating. In polite company, Pheramor “the world’s first smart dating app,” but in common parlance it’s a cheek swab integrated into a very small-pool tinder. They layer your 11 “attraction genes” over common interests gleaned from your social profiles, and hope to make you a hyper-objective match. The social affect so far seems to be calling into question the very concept of pheromones, rather than creating many matches, but the app does fit right into the competitive landscape: ‘Tried everything and still unhappy with your skin? Try lactic acid!’ // ‘Still single? How about a little genetic matching?’ Why not.

…Or Safeway Date?

There was a really grabby headline in the Wall Street Journal last week about how “The Hottest Social Scene in Town Isn’t the Singles’ Bar. It’s the Supermarket.” Which didn’t end up being much about dating at all, but rather about grocery stores emerging as community centers. Amidst the dissapointment of the headline flop, something else beautiful emerged: several quotes from the gentleman pictured above, interspersed throughout the article. A twice-divorced lobbyist in Illinois, Bob has a lot to say, and you really get to know him reading this piece. Just don’t forget to look at his photo every time you read a quote. Bob Schneider, everyone:

-“I once dated a woman from the potato section at Mariano’s…The next thing you know we’re at the wine bar and then we’re dating.”
– “Once I had them cook an entire fish,” he recalls. “I took it over to a table where a woman was having a drink, and I offered her some. We didn’t end up dating, but I ended up with a really nice friend.”
-“People aren’t going there in desperation,” he says. “They are trying to get something to eat, be open—and it’s fun. And the cheese section, my God! The samples they throw at you.”

Thanks for being a bright light today, Bob. Send our regards to aisle 6.

One more place to meet people (Group Play Date?) $

Great news, sounds like several of you are new members of the Bolt Collective, a community that travels together and makes impossible experiences real through group purchasing power. All trips are organized by my friend Dan and they are sweet. Let’s use their recent British Virgin Islands sailing trip as an example: Dan called up charter companies, told them he wanted to rent 4 catamarans for the group and needed a 40% volume discount, and suddenly a $2000-a-person trip became $1200. If you also want to do some sweet group hanging in sweet places (without doing any planning yourself), consider joining– put your email in here to learn more.

Or, if you’re partnered, I hear Ikea is a great date idea. Just ask Jens.

Margot

$ = sponsored