Millennials are Killing Everything: A Gift Guide
Business Insider recently published a comprehensive list of the industries Snake People* are killing. From beer to bar soap, there’s practically nothing left untouched. All we can say is…. CONGRATULATIONS, HIVEMIND, IT’S WORKING. Through our grassroots organizing in cells like Supreme, meditation class, and the internet, we’ve made great strides toward our ultimate goal of creating an ugly-beautiful dystopia in which transactions are convenient, ethics are transparent, and the patriarchy doesn’t always win.
Now, we know not all Snake People* are participants in the teardown of the ancestral regime. So we’ve assembled a guide-- a gift guide, if you will-- to entice new recruits with the sweet perfume of things we’ve built on the ruins of all that came before us. Give these gifts to the unbeliever and spread the good word; the gift of youth is yours to share.
Killin’ it -- keep it up.
**Much of this was sponsored. What else are gift guides for.