Here are two songs that have less-than-progressive language about women but are enjoyable musically: “Woman,” a fun and lush track by the 20-year-old Nigerian singer Rema, and “Square Bitch,” a negative-space rap by MadeinTYO that features A$AP Ferg. Listen, kick around your complicated feelings, and read on.
I’ve been sitting on Leigh Stein’s “End of the Girlboss” essay since it came out in June, and it remains required reading. For now, the quick rundown: Lean In ushered in an era of (largely white) female leadership that saw itself as radical and therefore paramount. Embodied in institutions like The Wing, Thinx, and Refinery29, the rallying of the girlboss effectively shot forward a bomb of toxicity cloaked in a pink robe with “Boss Bitch” printed on the back. Flapping around under the blow-drier, the robe then became blinders, obscuring the needs of anyone but the women at the top. Those women raised money, grew their enterprises ruthlessly, and held down their employees— particularly their employees of color— while building a brand that capitalized on the image of feminism. Fast forward five minutes and the world understands, and demands, that a feminist practice be 1. real and 2. intersectional, and these ladies are toast.* But fear not: whenever the Wing opens back up, they’ll have plenty of avocados to slice on top.
*In this time of ousters for abusive girl- and boy-bosses, let’s not forget about the glass cliff. When the bad bosses’ seats are optically filled by socially-minded leaders of color, those leaders will be in the precarious position of cleaning up the messes their predecessors left behind. There’s an extraordinarily high failure rate associated with this kind of move, which serves in many institutions to justify the continued promotion of white people over their colleagues of color. Instead of doing this dance, the business world could just support BIPOC’s enterprises in the first place. Although it has always been time, it bears repeating, daily, that now is the time.
Meanwhile, Maris Kreizman, writer and host of the Maris Review literary podcast, says her ambition is shrinking these days. “Where does ambition go when jobs disappear and the things you’ve been striving for barely even exist anymore,” she asks, “and what if the things for which you’ve been striving no longer feel important because they’re the spoils of a rotten system that needs a complete overhaul?” Still, she continues, “my ambition for my community and the wider world has gotten bigger and broader.” Perhaps this is where we reference the asterisk above.
Speaking of reduced ambition, raise your hand if you have ditched underwire bras in lockdown. SAME, and I’d like to point you to a bra company that supports* this move. LIVELY makes super-duper comfortable bras and bralettes, as evidenced by the million-plus items they’ve sold to date. With soft fabric as a base, they include functional details like front adjusters and back j-hooks to help find a perfect fit, no matter what else you’re wearing or where you’re going. If this appeals, check LIVELY out and use the code “SAVE” to get 10% off your first purchase.
*LOL