By the balls

August 28, 2019

Listen: The Living by San Fermin

San Fermin is a band of Yalies and you can feel it their new work. The Cormorant I is the first of two albums that intend to follow a couple from birth to death; structured around the expected life rites, it’s really an existentialist meditation through the voice of golden boy (sorry, frontman) Allen Tate and a variety of female voices purported to amalgamate to a single lady counterpart. The album is out October 4, but its single, “The Living,” is a solid teaser and a bridge between old and new San Fermin. It’s surprisingly synthy against their extremely-live vibe of the past, but before you have time to worry that the band has lost itself, the baritone sax chimes in and the chords swell with all the familiar dissonances and little euphorias that make these guys themselves. I guess it’s ok if they grow up.

Man therapy

Therapy is great. If you live in a major city, you probably know this, either by experience or proxy. But outside the major metros, low-wage men are seeing something of a suicide epidemic, mainly because this whole ~masculinity~ thing prevents them from seeking emotional help. Colorado, ever the progressive hero, has been running an interesting experiment to appeal to their most at-risk population of dudes: Man Therapy. They hired an ad agency to develop a persona somewhere between Ron Burgundy and the Old Spice Guy, specifically formulated to appeal to men through humor, machismo, and empathy. From there, Doctor Rich Mahogany and his mustache guide users through depression screenings and crisis information (big ups to the suicide hotline). It’s been working in a major way, which we’ll consider a reminder to public services to hire really good marketers (and to the government to fund them so they can).

Woman therapy

SPEAKING OF FUNDING… For women having trouble owning their inner(uterine) lives, there’s Plan C, a group that provides access to online abortion pill providers and all the info needed to use them. Those at-home-use pills have always been safe and effective (they’re safer than Tylenol, let alone other abortion methods), but they’ve been suppressed by the FDA; just to give you a snapshot of the situation, they are available over the counter in Latin America, and the US’ conservatism is pretty much the only thing blocking that reality here. So, here’s the internet (and a number of women’s health experts) with a solution. Learn more, pass it on.

One last PSA $

More of a private service announcement actually, Manscaped does exactly what you think it does: help dudes groom down under. Their electric trimmer, the Lawn Mower 2.0, employs precision trimming with anti-nick SkinSafe™ and low-vibration QuietStroke™ tech, so you can stay intact, discreetly (here’s looking at you, dads). And I’d be remiss not to mention their ball deodorant. There’s ball deodorant. Use the code IPSUM for 20% off and free shipping at manscaped.com.

 

Ad of my dreams.

Margot

 

PS A very upsetting, very thorough group of artists is making an IUD shaped like Donald Trump himself, set to show in New York in September under the label, “Trumpcare.” Their presentation is a little too deadpan to be funny, but also, this shit isn’t funny.

$ = sponsored